


okay to not be okay

by DoctorFitzy (KittooningMalijah)



Series: Take It Out On Me [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 18:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30026283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittooningMalijah/pseuds/DoctorFitzy
Summary: Ward doesn't expect to see someone from his past while they're still grounded for his recovery, and he especially doesn't expect that maybe there's a little more to Fitz than what he sees on the surface.
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Grant Ward, Skye | Daisy Johnson & Grant Ward
Series: Take It Out On Me [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/553669
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	okay to not be okay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JaeRianL](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaeRianL/gifts).



> An old AU finally being added to with a prompt that I filled a couple months back. I'm just slow at cross-posting things.
> 
> Prompt: FitzWard + "That's not what I would consider okay, personally."

With a frown, Ward stomped through the Bus and made a beeline for the bunks, ready to hide out for as long as it took for his heart to stop racing. Seeing Garrett while they were stuck at the Hub had never been the plan, and he just wanted to be _alone._ The main obstacle in that endeavor was Skye only a few steps behind him, asking about his _grumpy face_ even when the door to his own small room slid open.

“Ward, you can’t just shut us out whenever something happens. You almost died, and you still won’t talk to any of us. Let _someone_ in.”

He turned to face her, shaking his head with a sigh. “Seriously, Skye, I’m going to say it one last time - leave me alone. I don’t need to talk to anyone. I almost died, and I’m tired, and I’m just going to take a nap and see you later.” When he backed into the room and closed the door, he saw the withering expression on her face and movement out of the corner of his eye that meant they weren’t entirely alone. It wasn’t until the door was fully closed and their voices came over the top of it that he realized who it was.

**(** _“Oh, Fitz! Maybe you can get him out of his sour mood.”_

_“Why would I be able to do that? It’s Ward. He’s always in a sour mood.”_

_“Yeah, but didn’t you two, like, bond, on that mission? Maybe he’ll actually talk to you about all of this. He said he’s just tired, but he was cleared for field work again, so he can’t keep using that excuse!”_

_The words were pointed, intended for his own ears, and Ward rolled his eyes before sitting on the edge of his bed._

_“Well, maybe he is tired. He did almost die, Skye.”_

_“He didn’t seem very tired when he was with Coulson and his friend - Agent Garrett, or whoever... I think there’s something going on, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.”_ **)**

The rest of their conversation was quieter, or maybe that was just because he’d laid down and pulled the blanket up over his head. It didn’t matter, not when it was quiet enough that he was able to relax and almost fall asleep when he heard the door slide open again.

Light footsteps carried someone over to the bed, which moved with weight before the blankets moved and he suddenly had an all too familiar body pressed close to his chest. Fitz was warm, and his curls were soft where they brushed his chin and jaw, and it brought back the odd safe feeling that had lived in his chest while they were stuck in the pipe in the middle of nowhere. Sharing his past hadn’t exactly been easy, but something about this was far nicer than trying to work through his raging emotions alone.

“Are you okay?”

The accented words were all but whispered, barely carrying in the dark, quiet inches of space between them, and Ward didn’t dare open his eyes and risk looking at the concern so close. He didn’t quite have the energy to face worry on top of his own churning anxiety. “I’m fine, Fitz, just tired. I just... I didn’t expect to see him, today, so now I’m just avoiding all of it.”

“That’s not what I would consider _okay,_ personally.” A frown was obvious in his voice, but he didn’t press for any eye contact or even reach for his hand. They were close, and sharing warmth, and air, and that was enough. “Unfortunately, I don’t think I can convince Coulson to stop being friends with him, because I’m not going to tell anyone anything without your permission. But I’m here, if you need anything...”

_“Fitz,”_ he groaned with a small shake of his head, starting to pull away as much as he could on the small mattress. “No offense, but I don’t think one of the child geniuses on the plane really knows what I’m going through, right now.”

There wasn’t any kind of hesitation before the weight and body heat next to him was gone, and he opened his eyes just as quickly. They had freedom, here, to leave each other if they wanted to, not like the mission when they relied on each other for survival. He just hadn’t expected that Fitz would actually _use_ that freedom, not when he was the one who had reached out in the first place.

“Fitz...” This time, Ward made sure his voice was softer, gentle, careful. Because telling anyone as much as he did would have been hard, but of all the people he could have chosen, there was only one he thought would actually stick around.

Except Fitz wasn’t leaving. He was standing, and too far away to justify reaching for without looking pathetic, but he was staying in the room. There was something unreadable behind his blue eyes, barely visible in the dim bunk.

“Right, because how could I possibly understand what you’re going through? My life’s just so _perfect,_ isn’t it? You told me a lot about you, Ward, but you don’t know anything about me. It was important to keep you awake when we were stranded, so I made sure you talked, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have anything to say.”

“Fitz...” Slowly, Ward moved toward the edge of the mattress and reached out, grabbing his hand with a frown. “Come back to bed. I didn’t mean to get upset, I just... he’s...”

“Really frustrating and mean and you never want to see his face again?”

He watched the Scotsman for a long moment, and the look in his eyes was something that was unnamable but suddenly so familiar. “Yeah... something like that.”


End file.
